Rachel

I have felt compelled to share more memories I have of my mom but am unsure where I should begin, so I guess I will begin with some of my earliest memories.  As a child my earliest memories come mostly from pictures. I feel fortunate to have been the first born child in the fact that I had the opportunity of all the children to be with mom the longest(but not by much). Paul, Theron and I are practically the same age. 
Life as a mother began in Arkansas for mom. I have been told it was a very special place for her and dad. They felt like it was there opportunity for a mission.  I have heard they were very busy serving and very happy except for the fact that they lived far from family. Paul also was born here. 
Next we moved to Utah. Here Theron and Cherise were added to our family. I remember mom getting really ill a few times and her having to stay in bed. From pictures I would say mom loved to sew. She made matching Halloween costumes for the family. One year mom dressed us all up as clowns.
From pictures I would say mom loved to throw parties with children. I have pictures of fancy themed birthday parties with our young friends.   
I have pictures of outings to the zoo and I have pictures of us all dressed in Sunday best with everyone smiling. 
Next we moved to Arizona. I have heard this was a hard time for mom. Dad did not have a job and the whole family was living with Grandma and Grandpa Burk. I do remember her throwing me a great birthday party while we lived there. From my memory mom always made our birthdays really special.
When we moved into our new house on Westchester I remember mom thinking we had tons of room and letting us fill one of the kitchen cupboards with toys.  This did not last long as the house soon was busting at the seems and dad was often building new cupboards to store stuff in-especially books.  Mom loved books and collected them.
Mom was always very busy to my recollection.  She usually had ten projects she was working on. She taught Art Masterpiece at the school and never did a half job of anything. She brought the pictures home, read books, listened to music, etc. in preparation for her presentations. I remember the paintings being propped up in the Living Room.
Growing up I remember her preparing Saturday nights for primary. Making posters and coming up with creative ideas to teach a lesson.
I remember going to story time at the library often or any other enriching activity that the community was putting on.
I remember being read to often. The most frustrating thing to me was when mom would fall asleep while she was reading-which was almost every time. We would nudge her and she would say sorry, I’m so tired and start reading again.
I remember her teaching piano lessons after school. Usually wearing a dress.
I remember her spending hours talking to Jack, the elderly neighbor who lived across the street. 
I remember her not liking the television and doing everything she could think of to keep her kids from watching it.
I remember her researching about Passover in books, asking friends, etc and then putting Passover on for our family to teach us what it was and give us the experience to help us understand.
I remember her exercising everyday. Usually she would exercise early in the morning but sometimes she would do it at 9 or 9:30 at night if she had not made it during the day. As her children got older she would often take one with her. It was a special time together encouraging health.
I also remember her reading her scriptures early in the morning. Mom always wanted to be better. Every day she became better through great commitment to the Lord and earnest obedience to His commands. She did not accept who she was or what she was doing. Mom was in constant pursuit of learning how to be a better mother. She was usually reading two or three books implementing many of the ideas for a few weeks and then trying a new one. Charts, gunnie sacs that steal things left out, chore lists, etc. She was always trying a new method to help make the house be cleaner and run more smoothly.
Mom loved to learn. 
Mom was a great leader in our home. I think she helped dad in his priesthood leadership in so many ways. I think she helped encourage him to have family scripture study daily and teaching moments with the family. I think she took her responsibility as wife and mother very seriously as she tried to do all in her power to help dad fulfill his responsibilities and encourage him to do so.
Mom was a morning person. She liked to get up early and burned out at night. She often would just go get in bed in her pajamas with a book and let us get ourselves to bed. She always awoke very early.
Mom always encouraged us to be more and do more and be better. She would wake us up early to practice our music and would even do it with us-even when we protested-not because she didn’t have anything better to do but that she was trying to help us learn a talent.
Unfortunately I also have some memories of my childhood I would like to forget but dad once said something to me that has really stuck with me. It is the pitfalls of life. The hard, challenging things we go through that pull us close together and makes us who we are. We make it through, we struggle through together and then we look back and see how we grew. Mom went through many challenges in her life and I know she grew and made her who she is.
My most fond and cherished memories of mom are in her last year of life. It is funny how when you know life might be coming to an end that things change. Priorities change. I think mom changed a lot, but so did the rest of us.
Mom taught me so much of what I remember in the last months of her life. I remember mom crying and being upset that she couldn’t clean the toilets and change Jacob’s diaper. Her pain was great and she could not get out a bed but that is not what she was crying about.
When the nurse brought her oxygen-the most important thing to her was that her oxygen cord could reach the sandbox so she could be with Jacob while he played in the sand. 
More time was spent as a family just sitting around talking, laughing, enjoying each others company.
Mom went to the temple every week when she was sick. I know she found great peace in the temple and I cherish the memories I have being in the temple with her. In fact to this day sometimes when I go to the temple I will get a flashback of being with mom. Helping her up a step that she didn’t have strength to go up on her own and many others too sacred and personal to share.
To me mom was a person always trying to make others happy. Always thinking of others. Always trying to look on the bright side. Always encouraging us to be better. Never letting you dwell on the bad parts of your life but looking up and on. Mom always made me feel better. She seemed to know just what to say to make life feel not that bad. 
Some of the last things mom said to me before she died where to make sure her children were cared for, to look after her mom, to remember her as a person who loved children and to be honest in all we do as a family.  Some great advice left by a person who is loved, cherished and missed so much.